I want to be able to do what I want to do whenever I want to do it, no matter what.

I want to own a private jet that goes between Rochester and North Carolina whenever we want.

I want security.

I want to feel secure in my future.

I want to not have to worry week to week or month to month about anything.

I want to be happy.

I want to have all the latest and funnest stuff.

I want to be able to  decide what and how I use the things I have.

. . . . . . . . .

I don’t want to sound like a brat or ungrateful or anything.  I’m just saying.  I guess there are a lot of various things that everyone wants for one reason or another.  That is life.  That’s being human, with all the desires and hopes and dreams that come with that.  Being happy and content is about finding a way to “make do” with what we have and can achieve.  Happiness can be a choice, even.  Forget the fact that you don’t have everything you want, forget that you are only mortal, forget that you do not have access to limitless resources.  Just forget it all, and be happy.  Blissful ignorance.  (I have to say, in the last couple years I have been finding connections to that phrase/concept a lot more…)

I mean, what is “make do” supposed to mean anyways?  Again, are we supposed to just forget what we want and what we need to achieve it, and do something else?  Be something else?  That is not the same.  I’m sorry, universe, but I will not be fooled like that.  I cannot just make do with what I have.  I can accept what I have.  I can accept it as a temporary condition which will be changed in the near future.

But to me, it sounds sort of sad and a lot of hopeless, to just be happy and make do.  What good are these dreams if not to be achieved eventually?  Whatever process it was that created us and our minds gave us this ability to desire.  It has to be good for something.  It is at the very core of all of human progress and innovation, isn’t it?  Is that its only purpose?  Are all desires supposed to be for the betterment of mankind alone?  Looking at the most accurate guide to the future we have, the Star Trek timeline, it was not until the human race went through a third world war, first contact with alien races, and the total collapse of the global economy that all the nations even started to come together for any actual common purpose.  It was another 150 years or so until the Utopian ”United Federation of Planets” came together.  Look at what had to happen first, before man was ready to want only for his fellow man.  Are we just not there yet?  Am I still allowed to want for myself, at least until the men with the pointed ears land?

I don’t have any real answers here.  As with every other existential question I pose to myself, I will answer just with what I have been doing so far.  I will continue to want and desire and dream.  I will continue to be driven by that towards my goals, and I will achieve them.  That is not a question.  That is a statement.  Period.  Another period.  (I want to make sure you feel as final about that statement as I do.  Period.  End parentheses.)  There will be some day when I am completally and 100% content with life, the universe and everything.  That is not today.

For now I will continue to “make do.”  I will try not to whine and moan too much about what I don’t have.  Although, right about now I would really like that airplane.